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concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

blackcomicbookguy:

If you don’t have Iron Man cutting your blog in half then you’re automatically a member of hydra

#wel shit i dont want to be a member of hydra 

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

blackcomicbookguy:

If you don’t have Iron Man cutting your blog in half then you’re automatically a member of hydra

 

(Source: blackinjustice, via alykat86)

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ralkana:

hils79:

Can we just talk about this picture and how it’s like every teambuilding in Avengers Tower fic out there.
OUR FIC IS COMING TO LIFE
ALSO STEVE IS SMILING! OH BB I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HAPPY. 

*WEEPING WITH JOY*
GodDAMN but that is a handsome group of men!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MEW MEW ON THE TABLE THOUGH?! LIKE, THOR’S JUST LIKE,”I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS HERE, OKAY STARK?” AND TONY’S LIKE,”AS LONG AS THE TABLE DOESN’T CRACK AND BREAK, IT’S COOL.”
I’M JUST…AHHHHH TEAM BUILDING SCENES! STEVE SMILING, CLINT BEING A DORK ON THE COUCH! RHODEY!!~ *falls over*

ralkana:

hils79:

Can we just talk about this picture and how it’s like every teambuilding in Avengers Tower fic out there.

OUR FIC IS COMING TO LIFE

ALSO STEVE IS SMILING! OH BB I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HAPPY. 

*WEEPING WITH JOY*

GodDAMN but that is a handsome group of men!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MEW MEW ON THE TABLE THOUGH?! LIKE, THOR’S JUST LIKE,”I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS HERE, OKAY STARK?” AND TONY’S LIKE,”AS LONG AS THE TABLE DOESN’T CRACK AND BREAK, IT’S COOL.”

I’M JUST…AHHHHH TEAM BUILDING SCENES! STEVE SMILING, CLINT BEING A DORK ON THE COUCH! RHODEY!!~ *falls over*

(Source: ew.com)

Who do you think was the first person Steve Rick Rolled?

typewriterchan:

kisleth:

typhoidmeri:

dopemixtape:

typhoidmeri:

dopemixtape:

Steve discovers Roll Rolling one night while working through the list of music recommendations Sam and Natasha had given him.  At first he thinks it’s a random ad popping up in the middle of the music video. Then he reads the comments. Nearly every one involves swearing and the term ‘Rick Roll’d.’ Google, as always, is unbelievably helpful and Steve laughs out loud to himself upon reading the Wiki page.  

Sam is first.

Steve:  Otis Redding is terrific - thanks for the recommendation. Found one you might like. Let me know what you think.

He pastes the link into the text before hitting send. He smirks and waits.

Sam:  Steve Rogers, you Rick Rollin’ sonofabitch! Dammit, man. Who knew Captain America was such a troll?

Steve’s sharp bark of laughter echoes off the walls.  

Steve: On your left

Sam:  You’re an asshole

Sam:  Fifty bucks says you can’t get everyone else

Steve:  I won’t feel bad taking your money, you know?

Sam:  That’s why you’re an asshole.

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IDEK you guise.

Steve: Hey, Clint, thanks for the movie recommendations. Pretty in Pink was great. I liked this one too.

Steve carefully pastes the link in and presses send without a moment of regret. He tosses his phone on the counter and opens the fridge. Halfway through making a pile of sandwiches his phone vibrates on the counter. 

Clint: WTF?

Clint: U rick rolled me.

Steve: Sorry, pal.

Clint: UR an asshole. >:( 

Steve snorts and screencaps the texts. 

Steve: one down.

He attaches the picture and sends it to Sam, laughing to himself as he pulls a carton of milk from the fridge. 

Sam: Why am I friends with you?

Steve: My senior citizen’s discount. 

Natasha doesn’t reply. Steve hasn’t heard anything from her in three days, so he assumes she’s off somewhere on the other side of the world kicking ass and taking names.

He’s walking back to his place one night with a couple of large pizzas, listening to the 60s mix Sam made for him when a little blur of red and black lunges at him from the shadows. His attacker sweeps his legs out from under him and knocks him to the ground. He’s prepared to spring to the defense when he sees it’s Natasha. Steve’s laugh is cut short when she presses a pointed heel against his throat. “Dammit, Nat! You made me drop my pizzas. What the hell?” 

She presses her heel a fraction closer and breathing becomes difficult.

Natasha eyes him coolly with her arms crossed against her chest.  ”I’ve had motherfucking Rick Astley in my head for three days now, you little shithead.”

Steve snorts and immediately regrets it. 

Natasha kicks him in the ribs before offering a hand to help him off the ground.

"Share your pizza and let’s figure out how you’re going to get Stark." 

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(Natasha is having exactly none of your shit, Steve.)

Despite what Tony thinks, Thor has no trouble with Midgardian technology. Humor, yes, but technology no. Steve sends Thor an email, swipes his iPod off the desk and goes out for a run, listening to the 70s mix Sam made him.

unknown number: I hate you.

Steve: Excuse me, I think you have the wrong number.

unknown number: I have the right number, Captain Rogers. Thor has not stopped singing all day.

Steve: I’m sorry, Dr. Foster.

Dr. Foster: No, you’re not. ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

No, he really wasn’t.

….

Steve finds an acoustic version, heavy on the sitar, of Rick Astley’s notorious hit and asks JARVIS to play it the next time Bruce plays his tea time music.

Two days later they learn that Hulk can’t sing but he can hum.  Rather soulfully, he thinks as he sends a video clip to Sam.

Sam: You fucker, Rogers.

Steve: Five down. One to go.

Sam: Good luck with that one, asshole.

Steve: Better have my money ready, Wilson.

image            (Thor enjoys Midgardian folk tales sung in chanted verse)

Tony is the hardest by far. Steve brings pizza and vodka with him when he visits Natasha, and Clint is there too as a happy accident. He bounces ideas off them and everything he can think of just isn’t enough. They break for the night and he retires to his apartment.

He almost considers giving in to Sam when Tony gives him the answer unknowingly.

Steve is sitting on one of the stools in Tony’s workshop, drawing the Suit (which Tony was tickled over), when DUM-E beeps and nudges his arm. Steve grins and takes the washer they’d been using for ‘fetch’ while Tony mutters to himself and looks over the damage Steve’s body armor had sustained. 

(“It’s impossible!” He’d wailed, looking at the large gashes in the fabric.

"Tell that to my stomach," Steve had replied from the hospital bed where his skin slowly stitched itself back together under the bandages.)

"Hey, Tony." Steve lightly tosses the washer like an extra-small frisbee across the workshop. "Is DUM-E limited to just beeps?"

"No, he has proper speakers, he just refuses to use them for anything else. He doesn’t have the AI functionality of JARVIS. He’s like a baby. A really old baby. Or the mute eldest brother."

Steve smiles brightly when DUM-E comes back with the washer.

——

It’s really easy to get the song onto his iPod.

——

It’s almost easier to get the iPod hooked up to DUM-E and get him to push the ‘play’ button once Tony had settled in.

——

The entire team watches through the (thankfully soundproof) glass wall as Tony shouts and chases DUM-E around his workshop.

Steve: Did it.

Sam: Pics or it didn’t happen.

Steve steps into the workshop and records the song playing as DUM-E zips around, Tony chasing him. It sends it to Sam who doesn’t reply for ten minutes.

Sam: I’m paying you in beer. BECAUSE you can’t get drunk. Asshole.

Steve: That’s Captain Asshole to you.

BEST ENDING OF ALL TIME AMG

OMG stupid but funny headcanon I just thought up for Emily because I was thinking about last night’s AoS episode again.

When Emily is little, Tony tells her if anyone gives her any crap at SHIELD, just tell them “My father will hear about this” because one of them will take care of the problem and it’ll probably be Phil since he’s still the Director at this time. Emily agrees, not knowing this is a Harry Potter reference yet because she’s like 4.

It’s not till she asks to have the Harry Potter books read to her and watch the movies(and Phil gets a silver snake-headed cane from Tony as a joke at Christmas) that she finally gets the reference and smacks her uncle with the 4th Potter book for embarrassing her.

(Bruce is there when it happens and tries to calm her down but only after a few minutes because a 5 and half year old girl is trying to lift a book bigger than her while trying to smack Tony with it. In fairness, he DID deserve it and is laughing so it’s alright to let her vent for a minute or two)

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begitalarcos:

*One Shot*

Clint gets himself into a doggy pile of trouble and its up to the Avenger’s to figure out how to change him back to normal

(via nerdwegian)

I'm sure Phil has the Shield uniform designers sufficiently intimidated that he just says "the straps stay" and they don't argue. I want to be in the room when Tony asks what the straps on Clint's uniform are even FOR.

scifigrl47:

Phil just walks in, “Don’t touch the straps,” then walks back out and no one questions it.  He had some design input. 8)

And if Tony was ever stupid enough to ask that question, I can see Clint calling his bluff and telling him.  In brutal detail until Tony was like, “OH GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN A PRUDE BUT OH MY GOD THIS MUST BE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.”

clint/coulson & spring. Bonus sparkly purple stars for each alternate definition of spring :)

arsenicjade:

Clint isn’t a particularly tidy person, but he stands by his tradition of spring cleaning.  He once told Phil that having a home meant spring cleaning.  Phil hadn’t questioned his logic, which had been enough for Clint.  when they moved in together, Phil started helping out when he could, when he wasn’t spending nights as well as days at the office.  Clint doesn’t really mind doing it on his own, though.  There’s something vaguely calming about the smell of Fabuloso and the routine Clint has created as to where to start, what to do and what order to proceed in.

He’s cleaning their bathroom when he finds a box Phil has left out near to his shoe rack.  Clint would honestly call and just ask Phil what’s in the box, but they’ve been married over three years.  If Phil didn’t want him knowing, he’d never have left it where Clint could find it.  And Phil knows Clint’s in his cleaning mode.

Clint flips open the wooden box, smiling at the elegance of it.  Inside, he finds not one, not two, but seven watches.  None of them ticking.

Frowning, he asks JARVIS, “J, is Tony around?”

"In Dr. Banner’s lab, Agent Barton."

"Thanks."  Clint pops on down and pings before entering the lab.  Last time he entered without warning, he’d very nearly been accidentally sprayed with a caustic agent. 

Tony looks up from whatever he and Bruce are poking at and says, “Hey there, William Tell.  Aren’t you polishing apples today, or something?”

Clint doesn’t even bother to roll his eyes.  One of these days Tony is going to run out of nicknames, but today is clearly not that day.  He brings the box over and opens it up.  ”I found this.”

Tony peers in and blinks.  ”Those are some nice machines.”

"They’re not ticking," Clint points out.  "Phil likes old things, but he doesn’t always know how to restore them."

Tony reaches in, taking one of the pocket watches out and turning it over in his hands.  ”Probably not that hard.  Definitely some springs need replacing, a couple of tweaks here and there.  Agent coming home tonight?”

Clint says, “He means to.”

"So, I’ve got, what?  Five, six hours?"

"Or we could do this another time.  It’s not exactly urgent."

Tony takes the box, presenting his best offended look.  ”Why are you always underestimating me?”

Clint figures that for a rhetorical question and goes back to his cleaning.

*

When Phil comes in that night, late and looking like he’s been through the ringer, he smiles a little and says, “Smells like fresh pine river rainstorm in here.”

Clint laughs.  ”Yeah, yeah.”

Phil takes off his jacket and walks further into their quarters, his gaze falling on the coffee table.  He raises an eyebrow.  ”Was my choice of resting place offending you?”

Clint ducks his head, flipping the box open.  Almost immediately, the out-of-sync ticking fills the silence between them.  Clint mumbles, “Just thought you’d like that better.  I, uh.  I didn’t like them quiet.”

Phil closes the box, his hand over Clint’s.  ”You make everything better.”

"Sap," Clint says, but he sounds happy about it.

"Yup," Phil owns up, and uses his grip on Clint’s hand to pull him toward their bedroom.

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rngrn:

i’m sure Gadget and Tony would be best friends :D 

(via sairobee)

Anonymous:
Could you pleaseeee draw steve parading around with an American flag on July 4th :)

krusca:

kehinki:

hahaa all his friends are dead 

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kehinki but what about his new ones

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surroundedbyhosts:

Avenger Pet Shop Sticker by Pikatoro

nerdwegian:

coffeejunkii replied to your post: taking prompts

C/C, marriage proposal that doesn’t go quite as planned. :)

C/C marriage proposal under the cut.

Read More

(via ralkana)

sairobee:

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dot dot dot

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(via jeremy-ruiner)

C/C broken

uofmdragon:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

"I’m just tired of looking at the same old skyline," Clint said, spreading his still bandaged wings. Not nearly as bandaged as before, but there was still white webs that stood against the black of Clint’s wings.  He still wasn’t up to flying, but the bruises had faded and his ribs were doing far better. 

"I don’t think its a good idea," Phil said.  They were safer here.  Clint had the top floor and Phil took the basement to sleep in.  The ground floor was now filled with Natasha’s web.

Clint sighed, wrapping one of his wings around him and grabbing the misting bottle to start spraying his wings. 

"Didn’t you just clean your wings?" Phil asked, because he swore Clint had and Phil was getting kind of worried about how often Clint was preening as Natasha called it.

Clint went very still behind his wing.  When he did speak, it was a low.  ”Well what else am I supposed to do, Phil?”

"Read?" Phil suggested, holding up a book.

"I’m tired of reading, I want to go out," Clint said, folding his wings around his back, before he stood and walked out of the room.

Phil sighed, staring after him.  He became aware of a slight shift in the room that he was learning to recognize as Natasha arriving.  ”What do you think we should do?”

"Probably we should let him go out, let his other friends see that he lives," Natasha said.  "I do not think they believe me."

"I thought you were his friend," Phil said.

"I am one of many, you’ve fallen for a…" Natasha’s head snapped in one direction, eyes widen.  Her face full of indignation and fury.  She scurried, losing the shape of human and becoming part spider.  Phil had seen it before, when Natasha needed to reapply bandages. This Natasha was on the warpath and if Natasha felt threatened, well, Phil wasn’t going to let her face any danger by herself.  Phil followed after her, leaping the rail, grateful that he’d gotten Natasha to leave her webs away from the inner circular staircase.  Phil had no way of knowing which way Natasha had gone, he headed for the nearest exits and planned to do a lab around the building.  

He didn’t have too go far, around one corner. He saw the man that looked far too calm in the face of Natasha’s rage and it took Phil a while to realize that she was angry about the destruction of her web.  Well, Phil could understand that. It had taken Natasha a while to decorate her floor to her liking.

"Are you done now," the man said when Natasha had paused for breathe.  "I’m here to see Clint."

"You could have asked."

"I could have, I chose not too," the man said.

"I should destroy you," Natasha said.

"Go ahead and try," the man replied.  "You’d be playing with fire, and your kind doesn’t like fire."

"I don’t mind fire," Phil moving to stand next to Natasha, because he heard the threat.

The man stared at Phil.  ”Ah, you’ve aligned yourself with a vampire.” The man sniffed.  ”One of Fury’s lot, if I’m not mistaken. Well, even vampires have their weaknesses.”

"And if you hurt him, you’ll go to war with Fury," Natasha replied.

"Dance magic, dance. Dance magic, dance,” suddenly came from the direction of the man.

The man blinked.  ”Excuse me.”  He pulled out a phone.  ”Bruce! What’d you and Goliath find?… Excellent.”

"Bruce?" Phil mouthed to Natasha.

"Trickster!" Natasha growled, brushing past Phil to go back inside.

The man laughed, “Best watch out, the spider is angry.  I’ll be up in a few.”

"Who the hell are you?" Phil growled.

"You can call me Tony and I’ll be happy to speak to you further," Tony said, rolling his shoulders as giant leathery wings sprouted out from his back.  They pumped a few times, lifting the man into the air.  Phil turned, running inside, and back up the stairs to find that Clint’s space had been invaded by others.

Natasha was at the top of the steps glaring at them all, but Clint seemed happy as he moved about the kitchen, trying to play host, while a blond man was trying to guide him back to sit and a dark haired man was trying to get a closer look at Clint’s wings.

"Who the hell are these people?" Phil asked.

"Clint’s friends," Natasha said, watching them all. She indicated the two trailing after Clint. "Steve the Selkie, Bruce the Minotaur."  

"How’d they get up here?" Phil asked.

"The gargoyle Thor," Natasha said, pointing to an even larger blond that was standing next to Tony.  The room felt smaller than it had before, Phil wondered if it was because it was fuller or if it was just Tony, there was something unnerving about the man.

"Well, we were thinking of inviting them," Phil pointed out.

"I wouldn’t have invited Tony," Natasha said, shuddering softly. Phil blinked as he realized just how clear his run to the stairs had been almost as if someone had sent a fireball through it. So Tony was a creature of fire, well, Phil was unafraid of him and all the others that had invaded Clint’s aerie. 

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(Source: brynndowney, via batty4u)

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my-name-is-not-agent:

ironychan:

Because Disco Avengers were clearly a thing the world needed.

//you forgot one;

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(via uberniftacular)